so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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