Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
