i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
only you would photoshop your dick
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
