youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
