I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
