I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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