she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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