why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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