BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
