She is in my trunk
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize