I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
