That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
