so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
