To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Two words: blizzard sex
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
