What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize