Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
