i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
love makes seman taste better
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
