Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
