the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
