May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
