There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Non-Jews are for practice
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
