I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
