am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
