So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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