He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
