Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
