I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
