Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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