Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
