I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
