I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
do herpes really smell.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
