What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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