I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He felt like a one man threesome
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ok first of all what the fuck
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
