Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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