i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Couch. On fire.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
