Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
