Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
