i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize