So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
there is glitter all over my balls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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