I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
