What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
