lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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