your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
