How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
