my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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