What a fucking waste of an outfit
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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