really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize