so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
