Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
