I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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