dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it's like heaven, but drunker
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You took a bar mat shot.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
