When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry about my life...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
