how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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