But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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