im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
