if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
