I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
