so that wasnt chicken after all
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
