thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
