I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize