Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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