you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
