So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My cat gives me a boner
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
