Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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