I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
